An escapade with Tsitsi Vera

Tsitsi Vera, seriously, how could you depart from us all, before Facebook. I have been thinking about you this last week and would have just gone into your inbox and told you how I feel right now.

I miss you. I miss the intelligence, laughter, noise, unconditional love, the tolerance, the naughtiness and the organizing streak.

Talking about organizing, when I was dating my husband many moons ago, we recognized that property prices were going up and needed to secure a property without delay as we had been on the market for 3 months with no joy. We were planning to marry but only after we had secured a home for ourselves in joint names.

We were young and uninformed although we thought we knew everything. We did not know that we were eligible to buy the house in our own different names. We then decided that getting married would fast track the process of us getting our first mortgage bond from CABS, a building society/home loan bank.

The following morning, we both dressed up and went to work. Whilst at work I called Tsitsi Vera and said, "Hama (Relative), I need to get married, now and privately. Are you able to swing a fast one?" She said, no problem, give me 30 minutes. In 12 minutes she had secured an appointment at the Magistrate Court. 

We needed a second witness so I called my young brother Mr S and swore him to silence after I had convinced him why he needed to be the second witness. 

We all rushed to Rotten Row Magistrate court and in front of us in her office was Edith Mushore, who with a twinkle in her eye was wondering why they were no cameras, flowers and why it seemed like a "quickie" wedding. We told her to just get on with it. She did the honors and we got our Las Vegas equivalent marriage certificate - quick and legitimate.

Thirteen months later we married in church and that marriage certificate was "blessed". 

Six months earlier, my Dad discovered that I was married privately without him receiving a cent for lobola. He then invited me for a drink after work at his offices on Jason Moyo Avenue opposite Meikles Hotel.

There were beers and wine. I asked him why we were having a party at his office and he said, to celebrate your marriage. I looked at him, grinned and mumbled something to the effect that it was necessary for us to conclude a property deal. He said, he knew but proceeded on to say that "I heard Tsitsi orchestrated everything?" I said yep. He said, this child of Abigail and Jerry is quite forward, but she loves you. I know she would never facilitate a union that would jeopardize you. But listen now my girl, you are grown up, or so you believe. When R is ready, he needs to come and pay lobola, but please advise him that there will be an added charge, a small fine for not inviting us also to the signing ceremony. The point is, your brother was there. He witnessed the union, even though it was under duress but he is equally your father (patriarchy talking), so if he sanctioned it, I have to sanction it as well. Good luck my child." That was the end of the story. We drank with my Dad and were merry.

Later on, we hooked up with Tsitsi and continued with the merriness. We were free. The secret was out and we had gotten away without any important family elder causing a brouhaha about it.

I miss that spontaneity and craziness that made you such a free spirit Tsitsi. I will always love you, my mothers' child, my cousin, my sister, my best girl at my wedding, and my confidante. There will never be another like you. I will love you always, till I also depart.