"OF DOING MISSIONARY WORK AND MOVING ON

"OF DOING MISSIONARY WORK AND MOVING ON: We are all missionaries, in way or another and in varying degrees, to all kinds of different people we come across in life. All of us. There are times when our deliberate actions are answers to other people’s yearnings and prayers. God puts you in front of those people so that you resolve a troublesome issue in their life. That is perfectly okay because I believe that, that is the essence of life. That which makes life beautiful, is the ability to put genuine smiles on other people’s faces. But after you have been a God send, move on. Do not wait around to receive endorsements and accolades from them. You must not expect to have a long-term relationship with them. That help you offered when those you helped needed it was transactional, a once off shot so view it as that. Do not linger around longer to have a relationship with everyone you have assisted in their time of need. You will end up unconsciously inviting all kinds of people who should not be in your life, because you are waiting to receive praises or probably expecting them to also help you out. Life does work like that. Oft times, those we assist are not the ones who will be our God sends when we become needy. The Shona saying, “Kandiro kanoenda kunobva kamwe”, literal meaning, “A saucer goes to where another saucer will be received from “, has been wrongly interpreted. Those you assist are not necessarily the ones that will assist you back and those who assist you, you might never find the opportunity to assist them, or you might not even have the capacity nor capability to assist them. So when you assist another, move on. When you are assisted by others, be grateful, but do not wait around to hero-worship them endlessly. The Creator crafted this life in a manner where your blessings always come from other places you least expect and not necessarily from the ones you opened doors for. I would even go further and call it a law of life. Once you master this law, you cease and resist grumbling about those you helped, but who never showed gratitude. It was transactional, finish and klaar! It was missionary work. Missionaries as we knew them growing up, never expected anything in return. We were grateful for all that they did for us, but very few of us, when we could, never returned any favours to the missionary movement. We moved on and in turn helped elsewhere. This realization is important because many of us are unequally yoked to people who should not be in our lives, because we are constantly delivering to a cohort of people, whom we are expecting to rave on endlessly about us. It a sign of the helpers’ flaw and degree of neediness. When this sort of fuel is denied the helper, they get bitter and grumble endlessly to those willing to hear. On the other hand, some from amongst us, are so resentful of those who have assisted us, because of the covert or overt reminders from the helper, that we must be endlessly grateful for the help they gave us and shout about to all and sundry. It is okay as a receiver to announce your gratefulness once and move on. Sticking around to always sing praises to the blesser will leave you aggrieved and splenetic, because you did not leave the relationship at the time you were supposed to. Have self-respect and self-preservation. Refrain from being that kind of missionary who expects something in return or the receiver who sticks around to deceive, through repeated insincere praise. The moment it becomes repetitive, it ceases to be sincere. In a nutshell, when you help, do not expect gratitude. Please just move on. It is okay. You were called by the Almighty, to serve and do your missionary duties. When you are helped, be grateful once and move on. The helper and the helped must both have the discernment to know that it was a mere transaction. A transaction has a beginning, middle and end. At the end of the transaction, both must move on, unless there are extenuating circumstances, demanding the relationship to carry on." **NB - The phrase - "We are all missionary workers" was coined by my beloved younger sister, the one who comes after me, Dr Tendai Daphne Ndoro, a professor in Public Policy and Strategy at Rutgers University in New Jersey (NJ) and the Managing Director of the Small Business Development .Corporation of NJ, in a private conversation I had with her. I have borrowed this phrase and expanded the concept of "missionary worker "here.