ANOTHER RANT FROM HARARE

ANOTHER RANT FROM HARARE: Insomnia is a real threat to others and myself. Every time I am wide awake at 1am, there many others I notice are awake at the same time, with me. I know others, not necessarily all are working. I do burn the midnight oil oft times. But this morning I am not and many other mornings. When I wake up, I always assume I am being called to prayer, so I do so, for a bit or sometimes for a while, then wait the early morning out until 5am, when I wake up to take my morning walk. People say, "take it easy!". Please help me understand what exactly I must "take" and "make easy!". They also say "It is well." What is well, may I ask? What is it about my life, do you think is well? "It is well" is an over used phrase, quoted out of context. It is part of a Psalm which I can locate in the Bible. But what if it not well with my soul? This verse is a call to surrender to God and do the unthinkable and utter, that which is contrary to your soul. It is a call to have faith too. I have faith and I surrendered to God ages ago. But as an honest child, I reveal to him as my Heavenly, Dad, the Creator and the Almighty, that I will not parrot that verse and say, "it is well with my soul" when it is not. When people say, "it is well", they are shutting you down and out. They are saying, I hear you, but I have chosen not to hear you. So I am throwing you this verse, "it is well", hoping that you will shut up. Sorry I refuse to catch this "it is well" ball. Please throw it elsewhere. For me, hollow words and unconcerned utterances must stay where they belong - in File 13. What I know for sure, is that it is hard, to almost impossible to tame the mind, when it chooses to loose itself, on an overdrive of thought processes, whilst getting lost where it has wondered and cannot find its way back again, into your brain. It does not matter what time I sleep, 1am these days is my time to wake up. I cover myself up with a duvet. Switch almost everything off, except a lamp from a distance (total darkness freakes me out), hoping I will get back to sleep, but mind that says, hell to the N.O., not so fast my friend, we are not doing that right now! The mind is full in commandeering speed, opening the eyes and sending me running to the loo to pee. The mind then wonders away, leaving me mindless. I sheepishly jumps back into bed, now wide awake and start staring into the grains of wood on the ceiling. Then I pray and like this morning, proceed to playtime, by sharing a rant here, waiting the morning out to get broken, so I can start my day. Good morning folks. Have a better day than mine. NB. Please do not get me wrong, I am happier in Harare, than I am over there and yet I have not seen many outsiders I know. Maybe only two or three. I stay in my lane and very much minding my own business.