SELL ME THE COW, SO THAT I CAN MILK IT MYSELF

SELL ME THE COW, SO THAT I CAN MILK IT MYSELF: How you assist another person speaks volumes to the kind of person you are. In my early 40’s I was on a roll charting new paths at supersonic speed. There was a sense of urgency. As a person who had given up on doctors finding out what was wrong with me, I thought I was going to die in my 40’s and therefore I wanted to accomplish so many things, in the shortest possible time. I have always understood the power of investment property, so I got myself three (3) mortgages/bonds. I was lecturing at Wits Business School and my salary could not cover payments for three bonds. But there were abundant consultancy assignments literally walking in, through the gate of the school and I was lucky, that some of that work, was parceled out to me. That was before I started opening my mouth, complaining about discrimination and exclusion (a long story for another day). At one time proceeds from the consulting assignments alone, were four (4) times the size of my monthly salary. That is why the Banks agreed to give me three (3) bonds. I had left my family in Zimbabwe, so I had all the time in the world, to burn the midnight oil, juggling lecturing, consulting assignments via Wits and other assignments I secured on my own. Although it was a time of abundance, it was also a time of scarcity, because I spread myself too thin, setting up consortiums and spearheading the set-up of the second black-owned Bureau de Change, Global Foreign Exchange (GFE). I think I made more than a dozen trips to the South African Reserve Bank, Foreign Exchange Dept in Pretoria, over a two (2) year period before we secured our provisional license to operate our first bureau, which was located at the Oriental Plaza in Fordsburg, Johannesburg. GFE has been operating at OR International Airport for more than ten (10) years now. I sold our 55% shareholding in this operation some time back, but this narration represents the context under which I was operating. In a nutshell I was overstretched and highly strung. I made money, but I spent it too, not in conspicuous consumption, but perhaps, in primitive accumulation. I am not sure whether having three (3) bonds funding the acquisition of investment properties can be referred to as primitive accumulation. For starters, the house you live in, is not an investment. The other two (2) bonds were for investment properties. There was this lady whom I thought I was building a strong business and social relationship with. She was a Zimbabwean woman married to a Tswana guy from Botswana. We had met at a consulting assignment with the same client. As our friendship grew, we agreed that in seasons of scarcity, when consulting assignments were few and far between, the other would give business to the one going through scarcity, business. It just so happened that when I was going through consulting assignments’ abundance, she was going through scarcity and vice versa. So, I would parcel out some of my assignments to her and she would take over the clients. We both had MBAs and our areas of competency and skill sets were more or less the same. Be that as it may, I started to notice a pattern. When I was going through a season of scarcity, she never gave me business. She would advance me bridging finance and made me sign an ‘I OWE YOU’. It started bothering me because when I assessed our track record, I had given her 4 clients and she had given me none, but she had given me bridging finance twice. She was breaking the essence of our verbal agreement. By doing that, she was giving me milk, not showing me where the cow is, so that I could milk as much as I would like from it myself. So I decided to exit the relationship without letting her know. She then called me when I was in Maputo on a consulting assignment. When I picked up the phone, she realized from my tone of voice that something was up. She enquired. I apologized to her for not telling her that I had decided, without her consent that, I was going to reduce our so-called friendship, to the size of a bonsai. When we started, I thought it would grow into a baobab but given what has been happening over the past three years, the bonsai level was even more generous. She started weeping on the phone and said, she did not realize that she was breaking our verbal agreement. She asked for forgiveness. To which I advised her that, the last time I checked, it was God and not me, in the forgiveness business. I am no forgiveness expert and it was better that she go to church and be forgiven by the Father of the Catholic Church, because she was a Catholic. That was the end of that friendship. What I took away from that interaction was the following: 1. TRANSACT BASED ON SHARED VALUES: When you do not share the same values, agreements, written or verbal, are never respected. 2. NEVER SELL YOUR INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY CHEAP There are always early warning signs, of trouble ahead. One ignores the tell-tell signs at their own peril. My so-called friend, never saw the value of my intellectual property, yet she would come to my house with her computer and whilst she was sharing her marital problems, cleverly slip in business questions, open her computer and type whilst I dictated billable knowledge. I never did that with her. Her behavior was that of a leech and a fraud. All she needed to do was ask of help and I would have gladly provided it to her for free, since we were on an-enabling-each-other journey together. 3. IN BUSINESS MENTAL GAMES ARE A WASTE OF TIME Those who take from you, underestimate your ability to gauge what is going on as they think they are cleverly creating the impression that the value of your intellectual property is negligible and therefore, they must have it for free. 4. SOCIALIZATION NOT EDUCATION, DETERMINES HOW YOU SHOW UP IN BUSINESS Socialization is key. How you are socialized growing up, largely determines how you show up in the world of business. I believed her when she said, she did not realize that, that is what she was doing. Eventually, I had to choose my myself first, by refusing to be the intensive care unit, of an inadequately raised person. 5. PATRIARCHAL WOMEN AND MEN ARE PROBLEMATIC IN BUSINESS My experience has been that women are more problematic both socially and in business transactional relationships. I have found that they have failed to evolve and that leads them getting personal very quickly. Their reactions to other women in business, is markedly different to when they are responding to men in business. Men are affirmed and feared and women are disparaged and judged. There are men who personalize things too, when dealing with women, but the prevalence of this behavior is widespread amongst women. Whether these behaviors are attributed to women or men, this means that education as we know it, has failed to completely transform, some from amongst us, who continue to behave in inappropriate ways, to the detriment of what could have grown to be lasting business relationships.

ANOTHER RANT FROM HARARE

ANOTHER RANT FROM HARARE: Insomnia is a real threat to others and myself. Every time I am wide awake at 1am, there many others I notice are awake at the same time, with me. I know others, not necessarily all are working. I do burn the midnight oil oft times. But this morning I am not and many other mornings. When I wake up, I always assume I am being called to prayer, so I do so, for a bit or sometimes for a while, then wait the early morning out until 5am, when I wake up to take my morning walk. People say, "take it easy!". Please help me understand what exactly I must "take" and "make easy!". They also say "It is well." What is well, may I ask? What is it about my life, do you think is well? "It is well" is an over used phrase, quoted out of context. It is part of a Psalm which I can locate in the Bible. But what if it not well with my soul? This verse is a call to surrender to God and do the unthinkable and utter, that which is contrary to your soul. It is a call to have faith too. I have faith and I surrendered to God ages ago. But as an honest child, I reveal to him as my Heavenly, Dad, the Creator and the Almighty, that I will not parrot that verse and say, "it is well with my soul" when it is not. When people say, "it is well", they are shutting you down and out. They are saying, I hear you, but I have chosen not to hear you. So I am throwing you this verse, "it is well", hoping that you will shut up. Sorry I refuse to catch this "it is well" ball. Please throw it elsewhere. For me, hollow words and unconcerned utterances must stay where they belong - in File 13. What I know for sure, is that it is hard, to almost impossible to tame the mind, when it chooses to loose itself, on an overdrive of thought processes, whilst getting lost where it has wondered and cannot find its way back again, into your brain. It does not matter what time I sleep, 1am these days is my time to wake up. I cover myself up with a duvet. Switch almost everything off, except a lamp from a distance (total darkness freakes me out), hoping I will get back to sleep, but mind that says, hell to the N.O., not so fast my friend, we are not doing that right now! The mind is full in commandeering speed, opening the eyes and sending me running to the loo to pee. The mind then wonders away, leaving me mindless. I sheepishly jumps back into bed, now wide awake and start staring into the grains of wood on the ceiling. Then I pray and like this morning, proceed to playtime, by sharing a rant here, waiting the morning out to get broken, so I can start my day. Good morning folks. Have a better day than mine. NB. Please do not get me wrong, I am happier in Harare, than I am over there and yet I have not seen many outsiders I know. Maybe only two or three. I stay in my lane and very much minding my own business.

"OF DOING MISSIONARY WORK AND MOVING ON

"OF DOING MISSIONARY WORK AND MOVING ON: We are all missionaries, in way or another and in varying degrees, to all kinds of different people we come across in life. All of us. There are times when our deliberate actions are answers to other people’s yearnings and prayers. God puts you in front of those people so that you resolve a troublesome issue in their life. That is perfectly okay because I believe that, that is the essence of life. That which makes life beautiful, is the ability to put genuine smiles on other people’s faces. But after you have been a God send, move on. Do not wait around to receive endorsements and accolades from them. You must not expect to have a long-term relationship with them. That help you offered when those you helped needed it was transactional, a once off shot so view it as that. Do not linger around longer to have a relationship with everyone you have assisted in their time of need. You will end up unconsciously inviting all kinds of people who should not be in your life, because you are waiting to receive praises or probably expecting them to also help you out. Life does work like that. Oft times, those we assist are not the ones who will be our God sends when we become needy. The Shona saying, “Kandiro kanoenda kunobva kamwe”, literal meaning, “A saucer goes to where another saucer will be received from “, has been wrongly interpreted. Those you assist are not necessarily the ones that will assist you back and those who assist you, you might never find the opportunity to assist them, or you might not even have the capacity nor capability to assist them. So when you assist another, move on. When you are assisted by others, be grateful, but do not wait around to hero-worship them endlessly. The Creator crafted this life in a manner where your blessings always come from other places you least expect and not necessarily from the ones you opened doors for. I would even go further and call it a law of life. Once you master this law, you cease and resist grumbling about those you helped, but who never showed gratitude. It was transactional, finish and klaar! It was missionary work. Missionaries as we knew them growing up, never expected anything in return. We were grateful for all that they did for us, but very few of us, when we could, never returned any favours to the missionary movement. We moved on and in turn helped elsewhere. This realization is important because many of us are unequally yoked to people who should not be in our lives, because we are constantly delivering to a cohort of people, whom we are expecting to rave on endlessly about us. It a sign of the helpers’ flaw and degree of neediness. When this sort of fuel is denied the helper, they get bitter and grumble endlessly to those willing to hear. On the other hand, some from amongst us, are so resentful of those who have assisted us, because of the covert or overt reminders from the helper, that we must be endlessly grateful for the help they gave us and shout about to all and sundry. It is okay as a receiver to announce your gratefulness once and move on. Sticking around to always sing praises to the blesser will leave you aggrieved and splenetic, because you did not leave the relationship at the time you were supposed to. Have self-respect and self-preservation. Refrain from being that kind of missionary who expects something in return or the receiver who sticks around to deceive, through repeated insincere praise. The moment it becomes repetitive, it ceases to be sincere. In a nutshell, when you help, do not expect gratitude. Please just move on. It is okay. You were called by the Almighty, to serve and do your missionary duties. When you are helped, be grateful once and move on. The helper and the helped must both have the discernment to know that it was a mere transaction. A transaction has a beginning, middle and end. At the end of the transaction, both must move on, unless there are extenuating circumstances, demanding the relationship to carry on." **NB - The phrase - "We are all missionary workers" was coined by my beloved younger sister, the one who comes after me, Dr Tendai Daphne Ndoro, a professor in Public Policy and Strategy at Rutgers University in New Jersey (NJ) and the Managing Director of the Small Business Development .Corporation of NJ, in a private conversation I had with her. I have borrowed this phrase and expanded the concept of "missionary worker "here.

AN OBSERVATION PIECE - ZIMBABWE INDEPENDENCE, 18TH APRIL, 2023

Today the 18th April, 2023 is the day Zimbabwe celebrates its 43rd year of political Independence worn through blood, sweat, tears, trauma, amputations, decapitations, cold blood murder, etcetera. Many on both sides did not make it back home. Parents and siblings wept and broken-heartedness never left them. Many who left to fight the war of liberation were young and highly politicized, without fully understanding the implications, of the wrath of war. There was torture and rape of both young women and men, which has never been talked about, because some of the perpetrators of these hate crimes have been allegedly holding political office since Independence. Demobilization and demilitarization took place, but counseling after the war, did not take place. Many resorted to substance abuse and got caught up in its effects and eventually perished. A significant number are still alive and completely forgotten by their counterparts, the ones they fought the war with, side by side. A large chunk of them are poor, helpless, marginalized and bitter. A small connected clique represents the political power elite, gatekeeping with their handsomely paid goons, ensuring that no contender takes power, as their participation in the war of liberation, has become an entitlement for them to rule till they die. It is an unfortunate state of affairs. Zimbabwe 🇿🇼 is a mess. The messiness is well documented. Those in power are numbed with privilege. They are unflinching in their resolve to put down any form of political dissent. We are all wiser in hindsight. My kind of wisdom is that the fight for the land of Zimbabwe was an incomplete and inadequate narrative because no-one can uplift Zimbabwe's land to somewhere far away from Zimbabwe. It is our land and will always remain our land to use, within the artificial borders, demarcated during colonialism. What the war of liberation was actually all about to me, was the restoration of our Zimbabwean and African pride, cultures and human dignity. That for me encapsulates the ratio decidendi, the essence, of our quest for freedom. Across race, class, religious and political divides, we all want the same things - that is to be the genuine and authentic masters and mistresses of our destinies, without having to fork out anything to anybody, for that to happen. We want to be the champions of our own lives, without having to bow down to nobody nor asslick another human being. We want to achieve, on Zimbabwean land or off the land, in other economic spheres, without having to be aligned to any political party. That is the raison d'etre for achieving freedom. Do we have this freedom to champion our own destinies freely, without worrying that we will be targeted? No we don't. Many from amongst us, live with chronic illnesses like BP, because of the weight of the nation's problems we carry on our shoulders. Do we enjoy personal pride and dignity? Not in their totality. It is relative and incomplete. Cultures are not static. They are dynamic. In their dynamism, they are the thread that weaves all Zimbabweans to be one people. Do we have a collective uniformity of purpose as Zimbabweans? I don't know. I doubt it. I am yet to witness it. What I have observed is, it is one person for themselves and God for us all. That fragmentation as a people, has been preyed upon by the political establishment and used to further malign and disadvantage us. Where to now? I have no idea. What I know is, no one government, nor political party, has a monopoly on great ideas. No one generation possesses that either. We need fresh thinking, innovative ideas plus recognizable actions, so that Zimbabweans, who have been relegated to the chicken run, rife with meekness and fearfulness, can rise again, to be the great people they were meant to be. Mourn my beloved country, on this Independence Day!